redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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