im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
