I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Congratulations! We have a period
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
