oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
