I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
