Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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