is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
