you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
