I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
