You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
