I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How naked do you want me to be?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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