she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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