So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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