just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
