I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
