you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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