I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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