I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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