I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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