It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
