mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize