Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
