Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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