I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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