try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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