You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
