i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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