The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
