Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
