Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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