We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
