Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
