wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
