AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
