the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize