I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
