We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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