the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
