Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
