I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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