if i can run in heels then i can drive
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
