Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I love you. Go after that dick
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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