it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize