oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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