i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
