So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
