shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm going to jail i love you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize