you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
