she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
