Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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