im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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