The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
