"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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