Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You don't make any sense
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