that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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