Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
