Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
