return my video game
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
