So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
