i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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