I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
