I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
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