So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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