she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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